So this bangladesh saga continues to drag on.  Supposedly i am supposed to sit through an entire day seminar on Sat. and then they’ll make a decision. Pretty annoying that they just can’t make a decision.

I am booking my trip to Montreal today.  Very excited. I picked the most expensive flights so if i get extra days to come down i can just pick any flight i want and not have to pay a lot to change it. Wasting government money..haha.

Did i mention i was taking belly dance classes on tuesday nights.  I am doing it because Bob suggested it and I thought it would be a good way to get out of the house.  I hate it though but am bottling it up inside so i don’t ruin the class for her. SO selflish i am.  I hate staring at myself in the mirror for an hour and half. I hate attempting to glide across the room when i am not graceful.  I hate that i am akward and can’t shake my butt like everyone.  I think i may have to fake an injury so i don’t have to go after next week.

So they were supposed to tell me yesterday about the scholarship and i heard nothing so i am assuming i wasn’t chosen.  Who knows though. they weren’t very organized.  Kinda sad and depressing though.  I am sure it was because the interview went bad…i kinda, maybe argued with the guy a few times and then when they asked me if i would join a rotary club after i wouldn’t anwwer because i would rather die than join that group.  i blew the interview.  Oh well. The guy was a total dick and spending a month two ant-social 50 year olds is not my dream.

I do feel relieved.  Dan and i can now start to calmly plan our trip to Chiapas at Christmas. 

This weekend i explored my neighbourhood and discovered there was more to it than prostitutes and hemp stores.  Three blocks from my house is a small business section which reminds me of Montreal.  THere is a Bacon..the trendy ukrainian fusion food restaurant with a great patio, a wool store, a book store and few other small shops.  It was fun to hang out on Sunday and check out the stuff.  I know i shouldn’t like when they gentrify neighbourhoods but i really like being able to get good coffee near my home from someplace that isn’t starbucks.

So i am having an anxiety attack.  About a month ago i put in a scholarship application to do a cultural exchange program through the Rotary Clubs to go to Bangledesh.  They pay for everything and you take a month of work and go visit government organizations, NGOs, participate in activities. SOunded neat and i didn’t think i had a chance.  Didn’t really think about it.

 Now i am a final candidate!!  I shoudl be excited but instead i had this feeling of dread.  THe first bad thing was that i heard you are billeted in a host family.  The second is that i went on the internet and there are some pretty bad country warnings.  The Canadian government isn’t so bad but the Australian one advises not to travel to Bangladesh because there are threats of suicide bombers. 

THe thought of having my leg blown off, sleeping in a home with possibly some creepy man.  I kinda thought it would be residences where you would have some space and freedom.

I guess i shoudl go to the final interview and ask lots of questions and not panic about it until then.  It woudl be a lifechanging experience i am sure but why does it feel so wrong. I am i just a big chicken now. or have i learned from going to northern africa, peru, guatamala that travelling isn’t fun if you are scared and can’t control your environment.

What do you think? AM i becoming a chicken?

it feels like fall.  I am ready for it to be fall. It seems though that everyone around me wants to take one last swing at it and have parties and weekends filled with summer activities.  

This weekend i wanted to start the inside renos on my place.  I picked up paint samples, tile samples, got new baseboards with the aim of finishing my bedroom, bathroom and kitchen by the end of November. 

But..i seem to have gotten suddenly popular. Bobs going dancing tonight, Dan wants to go to the farmers market tomorrow, my dad asked me to go fishing sunday, my other friend wants to go to a movie Sunday.  Look at me. 

I was really surprised by San Francisco.  I always hear that if someone could choose a place to live in the US it would be Boston or San Francisco…Boston is beautiful but San Francisco would be way down on my list.  Although it is pretty with its rolling hills, cute little row houses and trolley trains you can’t really get swept away because the city smells like piss and every 10 feet someone is asking you for money.  Sometimes when we were touring around i would think that i was in one of those “its the end of the world movies” where everyones clothes are all ripped up, they are starving and just wandering the streets, just wasting time until the world blows up. 

It wasn’t all bad though.  I mean we went to art galleries, the harbour, alcatraz and it was fine but i doubt i’ll ever go back to the city.

Visiting Di was nice great. Eventhough we hadn’t seen each other in 2 years we still worked as good friends. We laughed, gossiped, drank wine, complained about grad school.  My favorite part was going to the bar Alley Cat or something, the little lesbian/hipster bar just down the road from their acreage.  It was nice to be able to see disgruntled, angsty mid-20s 30 somethings in an area with such a small population.  If you went to a city with 70,000 people in Alberta, everyone our age would have 3 kids and say fuck every second word.   

Same with San Francisco, when we were out for drinks one night Dan and i got really excited about moving to a bigger city when he finishes school, where life doesn’t seem to be over when you graduate from university.  I really hope we move soon.  I can’t believe i bought a house 3 months ago and want to leave already.